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- If you can’t think of a word, say, “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of getting old.
- I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out.
- My goal for 2021 was to lose 10 pounds. Only have 14 to go.
- A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
- Kids today don’t know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
- I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented. I forgot where I was going with this.
- Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.
- When I was a kid I wanted to be older . . but this is not what I expected.
- Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.
- If 2022 was a math word-problem: If you’re going down a river at 2 MPH and your canoe loses a wheel, how much pancake mix would you need to re-shingle your roof?
