{"id":9412,"date":"2022-04-25T20:13:20","date_gmt":"2022-04-25T20:13:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/?p=9412"},"modified":"2025-08-20T15:12:41","modified_gmt":"2025-08-20T15:12:41","slug":"if-my-nose-was-running-money","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/if-my-nose-was-running-money\/","title":{"rendered":"If my nose was running money&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/K8uyi4KHHhU\">A comedy song by Aaron Wilburn.<\/a><\/p>\n<p>OTHER TITLES<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>How can I miss you, if you won&#8217;t go away.<\/li>\n<li>If the phone doesn&#8217;t ring, you&#8217;ll know it&#8217;s me.<\/li>\n<li>When you leave, walk out backwards, so I think you&#8217;re walkin in<\/li>\n<li>If I shot you when I wanted to, I&#8217;d be out by now<\/li>\n<li>If you won&#8217;t leave me alone, I&#8217;ll find someone who will.<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m so miserable without you, it&#8217;s almost like having you here.<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m sorry I made you cry, but at least your face is cleaner<\/li>\n<li>The oil is all in Texas, but the Dipsticks are in D.C.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h1 class=\"western\"><\/h1>\n<pre><span style=\"font-size: 14pt; font-family: arial black, sans-serif;\"><b>IF MY NOSE WAS RUNNING MONEY<\/b>\r\n\r\nC                                 F              C\r\nYou say that I don't love you you say my love is untrue\r\n                                     D7               G7\r\nWell darlin' if I was a rich man I'd prove my love to you\r\n    C                            F               C\r\nI'd buy you a diamond ring and a new fur coat or two\r\n                                       G7             C\r\nIf my nose was running money honey I'd blow it all on you\r\n\r\nC                                 F              C\r\nIf my nose was running money I'd blow it all on you\r\n                             D7           G7\r\nI'd buy you a Cadillac and a new Mercedes too\r\n    C                      F                 C\r\nI'd build you that mansion up on the mountaintop\r\n                                 G7         C\r\nIf my nose was running money but honey it's snot\r\n\r\nC                                      F                C\r\nIf my nose was running money we could have anything we please\r\n                                       D7            G7\r\nThe first time you wanted cash all I'd have to do is sneeze\r\n    C                                      F                  C\r\nWhy we'd be living high on the hog and the hog wouldn't be so lean\r\n                                           G7             C\r\nIf my nose was running money honey we'd be rollin' in the green\r\n\r\n       F                          C\r\nIt's a booger of a problem that I got\r\n                                          G7\r\nI wish my nose was running money but it's snot\r\n    C                        F            C\r\nI'd buy you a Cadillac and a new Mercedes too\r\n                             G7                 C\r\nIf my nose was running money I'd blow it all on you\r\n                                   G7                 C\r\nIf my nose was running money honey I'd blow it all on you \r\n\r\n<span class=\"_3rlxz\">Extra Verse and Chorus: <\/span> \r\n\r\n<span class=\"_3rlxz\">[Verse 4] <\/span><span class=\"_2jIGi\"><span class=\"_3rlxz\"> <span class=\"_3PpPJ OrSDI\" data-name=\"C\">C<\/span> <span class=\"_3PpPJ OrSDI\" data-name=\"F\">F<\/span> <span class=\"_3PpPJ OrSDI\" data-name=\"C\">C<\/span> <\/span><span class=\"_3rlxz\">If my nose was running money, We could eat out all the time, <\/span><\/span><span class=\"_2jIGi\"><span class=\"_3rlxz\"> <span class=\"_3PpPJ OrSDI\" data-name=\"C\">C<\/span> <span class=\"_3PpPJ OrSDI\" data-name=\"G7\">G7<\/span> <span class=\"_3PpPJ OrSDI\" data-name=\"G\">G<\/span> <\/span><span class=\"_3rlxz\">The fanciest restaurants in town is where we'd go to dine, <\/span><\/span><span class=\"_2jIGi\"><span class=\"_3rlxz\"> <span class=\"_3PpPJ OrSDI\" data-name=\"C\">C<\/span> <span class=\"_3PpPJ OrSDI\" data-name=\"F\">F<\/span> <span class=\"_3PpPJ OrSDI\" data-name=\"C\">C<\/span> <\/span><span class=\"_3rlxz\">We could blow my nose, pay the check, right before we'd leave, <\/span><\/span><span class=\"_2jIGi\"><span class=\"_3rlxz\"> <span class=\"_3PpPJ OrSDI\" data-name=\"C\">C<\/span> <span class=\"_3PpPJ OrSDI\" data-name=\"G\">G<\/span> <span class=\"_3PpPJ OrSDI\" data-name=\"C\">C<\/span> <\/span><span class=\"_3rlxz\">We'd give the waitress a great big tip what I'd wiped on my sleeve. <\/span><\/span> \r\n\r\n<span class=\"_3rlxz\">[Verse 5] <\/span><span class=\"_2jIGi\"><span class=\"_3rlxz\"> <span class=\"_3PpPJ OrSDI\" data-name=\"C\">C<\/span> <span class=\"_3PpPJ OrSDI\" data-name=\"F\">F<\/span> <span class=\"_3PpPJ OrSDI\" data-name=\"C\">C<\/span> <\/span><span class=\"_3rlxz\">If my nose was running money, Let me tell you what I'd do. <\/span><\/span><span class=\"_2jIGi\"><span class=\"_3rlxz\"> <span class=\"_3PpPJ OrSDI\" data-name=\"C\">C<\/span> <span class=\"_3PpPJ OrSDI\" data-name=\"G7\">G7<\/span> <span class=\"_3PpPJ OrSDI\" data-name=\"G\">G<\/span> <\/span><span class=\"_3rlxz\">I'd buy you a John Deere tractor and get rid of that old gray mule. <\/span><\/span><span class=\"_2jIGi\"><span class=\"_3rlxz\"> <span class=\"_3PpPJ OrSDI\" data-name=\"C\">C<\/span> <span class=\"_3PpPJ OrSDI\" data-name=\"F\">F<\/span> <span class=\"_3PpPJ OrSDI\" data-name=\"C\">C<\/span> <\/span><span class=\"_3rlxz\">I'd carry you down to the store and buy you a brand new pair shoes. <\/span><\/span><span class=\"_2jIGi\"><span class=\"_3rlxz\"> <span class=\"_3PpPJ OrSDI\" data-name=\"C\">C<\/span> <span class=\"_3PpPJ OrSDI\" data-name=\"G\">G<\/span> <span class=\"_3PpPJ OrSDI\" data-name=\"C\">C<\/span> <\/span><span class=\"_3rlxz\">Then you'd not have to be plowin' bare footed the way you always do. <\/span><\/span>\u00a0\r\n\r\n\r\n<\/span><\/pre>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A comedy song by Aaron Wilburn. OTHER TITLES How can I miss you, if you won&#8217;t go away. If the phone doesn&#8217;t ring, you&#8217;ll know it&#8217;s me. When you leave, walk out backwards, so I think you&#8217;re walkin in If I shot you when I wanted to, I&#8217;d be out &hellip; <span class=\"more-button\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/if-my-nose-was-running-money\/\" class=\"more-link\">CLICK TO VIEW SONG<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">If my nose was running money&#8230;<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[116,117],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9412","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-live-baritone","category-live-piano"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9412","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9412"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9412\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9412"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9412"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9412"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}