{"id":2853,"date":"2021-10-06T05:38:04","date_gmt":"2021-10-06T05:38:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/?p=2853"},"modified":"2026-01-11T23:41:24","modified_gmt":"2026-01-11T23:41:24","slug":"phffft","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/phffft\/","title":{"rendered":"Phffft! You Were Gone"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

HAVE AUDIENCE SELECT A NUMBER ONE THROUGH TEN – SING ONE OF THE THREE BELOW VERSES, THEN FOLLOW IT WITH THE JOKE VERSE<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

PARODY ONE – START WITH THIS VERSE<\/strong><\/span>
\n[G] I went to have lunch, and [C] sat at the [G] Bistro. [G] I ordered my food, and sat down to [D] wait.
\n<\/strong><\/span>[G] How was I to know, it wouldn’t [C] come till next [G] Tuesday. I just looked silly with [D] my empty [G] plate.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

[G] I went to the Bistro for Com- [C] -munity [G] Wednesday.\u00a0 At [G] Sundaes with Staff, we get served [D] ice cream.
\n[G] My ice cream had turned to a [C] bowl of white [G] cotton.\u00a0 It turns out that I was just [D] having a [G] dream.
\n<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

[ REFRAIN ]\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong>[C] Where, Oh where are you [G] tonight?\u00a0 <\/strong>Why did you leave me here all [D] alone?\u00a0 <\/strong>[G] I searched the world over and [C] thought I\u2019d found [G] true love. You met another and [D] phfft, you were [G] gone!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

SOMEONE PICK A NUMBER ONE THROUGH TWELVE<\/em><\/span>
\nONE<\/a> – TWO<\/a> – THREE<\/a> – FOUR<\/a> – FIVE<\/a> – SIX<\/a> – SEVEN<\/a> – EIGHT<\/a> – NINE<\/a> – TEN<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

\n[ ONE ]<\/strong><\/span>[G] I miss you so much, the [C] taters need [G] diggin\u2019, The corn in the field-it needs pickin\u2019 [D] now.\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong>[G] How well I recall the [C] first time I [G] saw you. You looked so pretty a [D] pullin\u2019 the [G] plow.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

[ REFRAIN ]\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong>[C] Where, Oh where are you [G] tonight? <\/strong>Why did you leave me here all [D] alone?<\/strong>\u00a0 [G] I searched the world over and [C] thought I\u2019d found [G] true love. You met another and [D] phfft, you were [G] gone!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

[ TWO ]<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Your [G] lips are as red as [C] ripe boysen- [G] -berries,<\/strong> \u00a0 Your ears are as big as sails in the [D] breeze.\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong>Your [G] two eyes bug out like [C] old pop-eyed [G] mullets.<\/strong> \u00a0 Your hair, like haywire, hung [D] down to your [G] knees.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

[ REFRAIN ]\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong>[C] Where, Oh where are you [G] tonight? <\/strong>Why did you leave me here all [D] alone?\u00a0 <\/strong>[G] I searched the world over and [C] thought I\u2019d found [G] true love. You met another and [D] phfft, you were [G] gone!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

[ THREE ]<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

I [G] saw your buck teeth.\u00a0 They [C] struck me [G]\u00a0 funny;\u00a0 <\/strong>I\u2019m sorry to say I wanted to [D] laugh.\u00a0 <\/strong>You [G] told me the truth – that the [C] tooth cost you [G] money.\u00a0 <\/strong>You said it cost you a [D] buck and a [G] half.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

[ REFRAIN ]\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong>[C] Where, Oh where are you [G] tonight? <\/strong>Why did you leave me here all [D] alone?\u00a0 <\/strong>[G] I searched the world over and [C] thought I\u2019d found [G] true love. You met another and [D] phfft, you were [G] gone!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

[ FOUR ]<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

[G] I thought my love was [C] all that you [G] wanted.\u00a0 <\/strong>I can\u2019t believe my gold made you [D] fall.\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong>I [G] Thought you would at least leave the [C] hogs in the [G] pig pen.\u00a0 <\/strong>I was mistaken cause [D] you took them [G] all.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

[ REFRAIN ]\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong>[C] Where, Oh where are you [G] tonight?\u00a0 <\/strong>Why did you leave me here all [D] alone?\u00a0 <\/strong>[G] I searched the world over and [C] thought I\u2019d found [G] true love. You met another and [D] phfft, you were [G] gone!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

[ FIVE ]<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

The [G] noises you made at [C] our supper [G] table.\u00a0 Your habits, my dear, were clearly [D] absurd.\u00a0 Just [G] how many times do [C]\u00a0 I have to [G] tell you;\u00a0 Soup is a dish to be [D] seen and not [G] heard <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

[ REFRAIN ]\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong>[C] Where, Oh where are you [G] tonight?\u00a0 <\/strong>Why did you leave me here all [D] alone?\u00a0 <\/strong>[G] I searched the world over and [C] thought I\u2019d found [G] true love. You met another and [D] phfft, you were [G] gone!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

[ SIX ]<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Re- [G] -member you phoned me a- [C] -sobbin’ and [G] cryin’\u00a0\u00a0 The dog bit your maw, and drug her [D] around.\u00a0\u00a0 You [G] said she looked pale and [C] thought she was [G] dying. \u00a0 I said “Don’t worry, I’ll [D] buy a new [G] hound.” <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

[ REFRAIN ]\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong>[C] Where, Oh where are you [G] tonight?\u00a0 <\/strong>Why did you leave me here all [D] alone?\u00a0 <\/strong>[G] I searched the world over and [C] thought I\u2019d found [G] true love. You met another and [D] phfft, you were [G] gone!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

[ SEVEN ]<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

I [G] went to your house at [C] three in the [G] morning.\u00a0 You had all them curlers and junk in your [D] hair.\u00a0 You [G] would not have scared me and [C] I’d not have [G] run so,\u00a0 if you hadn’t looked like you’d [D] wrestled a [G] bear. <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

[ REFRAIN ]\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong>[C] Where, Oh where are you [G] tonight?\u00a0 <\/strong>Why did you leave me here all [D] alone?\u00a0 <\/strong>[G] I searched the world over and [C] thought I\u2019d found [G] true love. You met another and [D] phfft, you were [G] gone!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

[ EIGHT ]<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

You [G] took out your false teeth, your [C] wig and your [G] glasses.\u00a0 And you shoud’ve seen the look on my [D] face.\u00a0 I [G] wanted to kiss you and [C] hug you so [G] tightly.\u00a0 I would have if I could have [D] located your[G] face. <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

[ REFRAIN ]\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong>[C] Where, Oh where are you [G] tonight?\u00a0 <\/strong>Why did you leave me here all [D] alone?\u00a0 <\/strong>[G] I searched the world over and [C] thought I\u2019d found [G] true love. You met another and [D] phfft, you were [G] gone!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

[ NINE ]<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

I [G] know that you loved me, here’s [C] my way of [G] knowing:\u00a0 The proof is right there hanging out on the [D] line.\u00a0 When [G] I see the sun and [C] feel the wind [G] blowing.\u00a0 Your nightie is hugging them [D] long johns of [G] mine <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

[ REFRAIN ]\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong>[C] Where, Oh where are you [G] tonight?\u00a0 <\/strong>Why did you leave me here all [D] alone?\u00a0 <\/strong>[G] I searched the world over and [C] thought I\u2019d found [G] true love. You met another and [D] phfft, you were [G] gone!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

[ TEN ]<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Down [G] here on the farm the [C] weather gets [G] messy.<\/strong>\u00a0 Laying around with nothin’ to [D] do.\u00a0 When [G] you went away, you [C] took my cow [G] Bessie
\nI miss her darling, more [D] than I miss [G] you <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

[ REFRAIN ]\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong>[C] Where, Oh where are you [G] tonight?\u00a0 <\/strong>Why did you leave me here all [D] alone?\u00a0 <\/strong>[G] I searched the world over and [C] thought I\u2019d found [G] true love. You met another and [D] phfft, you were [G] gone!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

C\tWhere Are You Tonight, Hee Haw
\nI.
\nI sent you my love, your teeth they need filling
\nYou hauled off and said, “You ain’t got no sense.”
\nYou ain’t got buck teeth, but when you are smiling
\nYour teeth look more like an old picket fence.<\/p>\n

Where, Oh where are you tonight?
\nWhy did you leave me here all alone?
\nI searched the world over and thought I’d found true love,
\nYou found another and Pffft, you were gone. <\/p>\n

I went to your house at three in the morning.
\nYou had all them curlers and junk in your hair.
\nYou would not have scared me & I’d not have run so,
\nIf you’d not looked like you’d wrestled a bear.
\n{ CHORUS }<\/p>\n

I told you, my darlin’, you looked like a gopher.
\nIt made you so mad, you haven’t spoke since.
\nBut tell me my darling, if you ain’t got buck teeth.
\nHow do you eat apples, through a picket fence?
\n{ CHORUS }<\/p>\n

When I picked you up, for our date last weekend.
\nI loved how you looked, in your satin and bow.
\nI wanted to hug you, & kiss you all over,
\nYou looked so pretty a-pullin’ that plow!
\n{ CHORUS }<\/p>\n

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
\nII.<\/p>\n

We once had a dog who ate in the kitchen,
\nBlacksmith was his name, no one could eat more,
\nYou wondered why, we called the dog Blacksmith, He
\nspent his life making, a bolt for the door
\n{ CHORUS }<\/p>\n

Where, Oh where are you tonight?
\nWhy did you leave me here all alone?
\nI searched the world over and thought I’d found true love,
\nYou found another and Pffft, you were gone. <\/p>\n

Remember when you went out hunting for possum
\nYou said you’d get one and wouldn’t be long
\nThat’s 10 years ago and I’m sitting here waiting
\nI’m beginning to wonder if something went wrong
\n{ CHORUS }<\/p>\n

You took off your peg leg, your wig, and your glass eye,
\nYou were surprised at the look on my face,
\nI wanted to kiss and hug you, my darling,
\nBut you were scattered all over the place.
\n{ CHORUS }<\/p>\n

Down on the farm the weather gets messy
\nLying around with nothing to do
\nWhen you left home, you took my cow Bessie
\nI miss her, darling, more than I miss you.
\n{ CHORUS }
\n– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
\n\t\tIII.<\/p>\n

The noises you made at our supper table
\nYour habits my dear were truely absurd
\nHow many times do I have to tell you
\nSoup is a dish to be seen and not heard
\n{ CHORUS }<\/p>\n

Where, Oh where are you tonight?
\nWhy did you leave me here all alone?
\nI searched the world over and thought I’d found true love,
\nYou found another and Pffft, you were gone. <\/p>\n

I remember you phoned me all sobbin’ and crying
\nThe dog bit your Ma and drug her around
\nYou said she looked pale and thought she was dyin’
\nI said, “Don’t worry, I’ll buy a new hound.”
\n{ CHORUS }<\/p>\n

I had six kids and you had 11
\nAnd we had a boy and they grew all like flowers
\nI wish you’d come back, Without you it ain’t heaven
\nYour kids and my kids are beating up ours
\n{ CHORUS }<\/p>\n

One day you asked me how I liked her figure
\nYou said, “I just weigh 103.”
\nThen you up and said, “One thing I can’t figure,
\n1 lb candy makes 5 lb of me.”
\n{ CHORUS }<\/p>\n

IV.<\/p>\n

I felt like a fool with fear I was shakin’
\nFor I realized the spot I was in
\nThe trouble I had was all my own making
\nWhen you caught me kissing Loretta Lynn
\n{ CHORUS }<\/p>\n

Where, Oh where are you tonight?
\nWhy did you leave me here all alone?
\nI searched the world over and thought I’d found true love,
\nYou found another and Pffft, you were gone. <\/p>\n

One day she served me a couple of fried eggs
\nThat was one of her contemptible tricks
\nI told her off I said when you’re a-frying
\nDon’t dirty my plate with less than six
\n{ CHORUS }<\/p>\n

A good neighbor said your love was a Gamble
\nBut your kiss drove me right out of my head
\nBut then I found out that you like to ramble
\nOh, What A pity, now our love is dead
\n{ CHORUS }<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

HAVE AUDIENCE SELECT A NUMBER ONE THROUGH TEN – SING ONE OF THE THREE BELOW VERSES, THEN FOLLOW IT WITH THE JOKE VERSE PARODY ONE – START WITH THIS VERSE [G] I went to have lunch, and [C] sat at the [G] Bistro. [G] I ordered my food, and sat … CLICK TO VIEW SONGPhffft! You Were Gone<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[24,133,126,116,117,115,62],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2853","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-3-chords","category-baritone-bill","category-bass-guitar-night","category-live-baritone","category-live-piano","category-live-tenor","category-uke-juke"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2853","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2853"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2853\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":29127,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2853\/revisions\/29127"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2853"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2853"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2853"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}