{"id":27742,"date":"2025-12-25T21:25:05","date_gmt":"2025-12-25T21:25:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/?p=27742"},"modified":"2025-12-26T19:12:17","modified_gmt":"2025-12-26T19:12:17","slug":"jokes-followed-by-music","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/jokes-followed-by-music\/","title":{"rendered":"Jokes – Followed by Music"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s Raining Cats and Dogs. I know\u2026 I just stepped in a poodle.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Listen to the Rhythm of the Falling Rain<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

If you\u2019re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren\u2019t you the waiter?<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Slow Poke<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Fly me to the Moon<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

I’d Have Baked a Cake<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

(BILL)\u00a0 I’m responsible for what I say, not what you understand. Common sense is like deodorant.\u00a0 The people who need it the most never use it.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

A song about Common Sense – Weed with Willie<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

(BILL)\u00a0 My tolerance for idiots is extremely low these days. I used to have some immunity built up, but obviously there’s a new strain out there.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Crazy<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

It’s not my age that bothers me, it’s the side effects.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

The Older I Get<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

(BILL)\u00a0 I’m not saying I’m old and worn out, but I make sure I’m nowhere near the curb on trash day.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Old Blevins<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

As I watch this generation try to rewrite our history, one thing I’m sure of .. it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Yesterday<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

Me, sobbing: “I’m not coming back here anymore … I’m not going to let you hurt me again. “My Trainer: “It was one sit-up.”<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Help!<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

As I’ve gotten older, people think I’ve become lazy.\u00a0 The truth is I’m just being more energy efficient.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Up a Lazy River<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then he made the earth round…and laughed and laughed and laughed.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Orange and the Green – Irish Rovers<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

(BILL)\u00a0 I’m on two diets. I wasn’t getting enough food on one.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Junk Food Junkie<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

I put my scale in the bathroom corner and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Honesty<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

(BILL)\u00a0 My mind is like an internet browser. At least 19 open tabs, 3 of them are frozen, and I have no clue where the music is coming from.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Nickelodean<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

Hard to believe I once had a phone attached to a wall, and when it rang, I picked it up without knowing who was calling.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Hello<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

Apparently, RSVP-ing to a wedding invitation “Maybe next time” isn’t the correct response.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

You Don’t Send me Flowers<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

So, you’ve been eating hot dogs and McChicken all your life, but you won’t take the vaccine because you don’t know what’s in it?<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Never on a Sunday<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

Sometimes the Universe puts you in the same situation again to see if you’re still a dumbass.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

I Should’ve Known Better<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

There is no such thing as a grouchy old person.
\n<\/span><\/strong>The truth is, once you get old you stop being polite and start being honest.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

I Did it My Way<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s Raining Cats and Dogs. I know\u2026 I just stepped in a poodle. Listen to the Rhythm of the Falling Rain If you\u2019re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren\u2019t you the waiter? Slow Poke The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it … CLICK TO VIEW SONGJokes – Followed by Music<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[120,67,116],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27742","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-perflive","category-bar-jokes","category-live-baritone"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27742","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=27742"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27742\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":27801,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27742\/revisions\/27801"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=27742"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=27742"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=27742"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}