{"id":20957,"date":"2024-06-19T23:18:29","date_gmt":"2024-06-19T23:18:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/?p=20957"},"modified":"2024-06-19T23:18:29","modified_gmt":"2024-06-19T23:18:29","slug":"aunt-clara","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/aunt-clara\/","title":{"rendered":"Aunt Clara"},"content":{"rendered":"

WE NEVER MENTION AUNT CLARA<\/span>
\n<\/span>
\n<\/span>*1<\/span>
\n<\/span>She used to sing hymns in the old village choir<\/span>
\n<\/span>She taught at the Sunday-school class,<\/span>
\n<\/span>At playing the organ she never would tire<\/span>
\n<\/span>Those dear days are over, alas.<\/span>
\n<\/span>*2<\/span>
\n<\/span>In church at the organ she’d practice each day<\/span>
\n<\/span>While the minister pumped up and down.<\/span>
\n<\/span>His wife caught him pumping the organ one day<\/span>
\n<\/span>And that’s why aunt Clara left town.<\/span>
\n<\/span>*3<\/span>
\n<\/span>With presents he tempted and lured her to sin<\/span>
\n<\/span>Her innocent virtue to smirch,<\/span>
\n<\/span>But her honor was strong and she never gave in<\/span>
\n<\/span>Till he gave her the deed to the church.<\/span>
\n<\/span>
\n<\/span>We never mention <\/span>A<\/span>unt Clara;<\/span>
\n<\/span>Her picture is turned to the wall.<\/span>
\n<\/span>Though she lives on the French Riviera<\/span>
\n<\/span>Mother says she is dead to us all.<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

*4<\/span>
\n<\/span>They said that she’d toil by night and by day<\/span>
\n<\/span>She’d have to scrub floors for her bread,<\/span>
\n<\/span>But inside of a week she discovered a way<\/span>
\n<\/span>To earn her board lying in bed.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\f<\/span><\/p>\n

*5<\/span>
\n<\/span>They told her the wages of sinners was death.<\/span>
\n<\/span>To this my aunt Clara just said<\/span>
\n<\/span>That she’d just as soon die with champagne on her<\/span> breath,<\/span>
\n<\/span>And pink satin sheets on her bed.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

*6<\/span>
\n<\/span>They said no one cared if she’d ever come back<\/span>,<\/span>
\n<\/span>When she left us her fortune to seek<\/span>,<\/span>
\n<\/span>But the boys <\/span>at<\/span> the firehouse painted it black<\/span>,<\/span>
\n<\/span>And the ball team w<\/span>as<\/span> mourning <\/span>all<\/span> week.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

*7<\/span>
\n<\/span>The said that no man would make her his bride<\/span>,<\/span>
\n<\/span>They prophesied children of shame<\/span>,<\/span>
\n<\/span>But she’s married three earls and a baron besides<\/span>,<\/span>
\n<\/span>And she hasn’t a child to her name.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

*8<\/span>
\n<\/span>They said that Hellfire would punish her sin<\/span>
\n<\/span>She’d burn for her carryings-on<\/span>
\n<\/span>But just <\/span>at the moment<\/span> she’s toasting her skin<\/span>
\n<\/span>On the beaches of Dover and Cannes.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

*9<\/span>
\n<\/span>They said that to garments of sackcloth she’d sink<\/span>
\n<\/span>With ashes to cover her head.<\/span>
\n<\/span>But just <\/span>at the moment<\/span> it’s ermine and mink<\/span>
\n<\/span>And a diamond tiara instead.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\f<\/span><\/p>\n

*10<\/span>
\n<\/span>They say that she’s sunk in the muck and the mud<\/span>
\n<\/span>But the papers last week showed a snap<\/span>
\n<\/span>Of aunt Clara, at Nice, with a prince of the blood<\/span>
\n<\/span>And a bishop asleep on her lap.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

*11<\/span>
\n<\/span>The best things in life always go to the pure<\/span>
\n<\/span>The Sunday school lessons all teach<\/span>
\n<\/span>But I wonder when I see the rotogravure<\/span>
\n<\/span>Of her eighty room shack at the beach.<\/span>
\n<\/span>*12<\/span>
\n<\/span>They say that she’s sunken, they say that she fell<\/span>,<\/span>
\n<\/span>From the narrow and virtuous path,<\/span>
\n<\/span>But her French formal gardens are sunken as well<\/span>,<\/span>
\n<\/span>And so is her pink marble bath.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

*13<\/span>
\n<\/span>My poor <\/span>M<\/span>other’s life has been pious and meek<\/span>
\n<\/span>She drives in a second-hand Ford.<\/span>
\n<\/span>Aunt Clara received, for her birthday, last week<\/span>
\n<\/span>A Rolls-Royce, a <\/span>Stutz<\/span> and a Cord.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

*14<\/span>
\n<\/span>My <\/span>M<\/span>other does <\/span>all of<\/span> her housework alone<\/span>
\n<\/span>She has to scrub clothes for her board<\/span>
\n<\/span>It strikes me that virtue’s not only its own,<\/span>
\n<\/span>But also its only reward.<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

So<\/span> we never mention <\/span>A<\/span>unt Clara,<\/span>
\n<\/span>But I think that when I grow up tall<\/span>
\n<\/span>I shall live on the French Riviera<\/span>
\n<\/span>And let <\/span>M<\/span>other turn me to the wall.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

WE NEVER MENTION AUNT CLARA *1 She used to sing hymns in the old village choir She taught at the Sunday-school class, At playing the organ she never would tire Those dear days are over, alas. *2 In church at the organ she’d practice each day While the minister pumped … CLICK TO VIEW SONGAunt Clara<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20957","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-x-bill-chase"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20957","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20957"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20957\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20957"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20957"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20957"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}