There\u2019s a guy sitting at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Soon, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.<\/p>\n
The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, \u201cCome on man, I was just joking. Here, I\u2019ll buy you another drink. I just can\u2019t stand seeing a man crying.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, it\u2019s not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I\u2019m late to my office. My boss, in an outrage, fires me. When I left the building to my car, I found out it was stolen.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home and come to this bar.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison\u201d<\/p>\n
An Frenchman, German, and Irishman are drinking beer at a bar. A fly lands in each of their beers. The Frenchman flags the bartender down and asks for another beer. The German scoops the fly out and continues drinking his beer. The Irishman takes the fly out, holds it over his glass and screams \u201cSpit it out ya dirty bastard!\u201d<\/p>\n
A duck walks into a bar and asks: “Got any Bread?” Barman says: “No.” Duck says: “Got any bread?” Barman says: “No.” Duck says: “Got any bread?” Barman says: “No, Its a bar we dont sell bread.” Duck says: “Got any bread?” Barman says: “No, we haven’t got any bread!” Duck says: “Got any bread?” Barman says: “No, are you deaf?! We haven’t got any bread, and if you ask me again and I’ll nail your beak to the bar!!” Duck says: “Got any nails?” Barman says: “No” Duck says: “Got any bread?<\/p>\n
A guy walks into a bar and sits at a table.<\/p>\n
He tells the waitress, \u201cI\u2019ll have a Bloody Mary and a menu.\u201d When she returns with his drink, he asks \u201cStill servin\u2019 breakfast?\u201d<\/p>\n
She says yes, so he says \u201cThen I\u2019ll have two eggs-runny on top and burnt on the bottom, five strips of bacon \u2013 well done on one end and still raw on the other, two pieces of burnt toast and a cold cup of coffee.\u201d<\/p>\n
Indignantly the waitress says, \u201cWe don\u2019t serve that kinda stuff in here!\u201d<\/p>\n
The guy says,\u00a0\u201cFunny\u2026 that\u2019s what I had in here yesterday\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
A man goes into a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink.<\/p>\n
The bartender says \u201cYou can\u2019t bring that dog in here!\u201d The guy, without missing a beat, says \u201cThis is my seeing-eye dog.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh man,\u201d the bartender says, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, I didn\u2019t know. Here, the first drink\u2019s on me.\u201d The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.<\/p>\n
Another guy walks into the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guy sees him, stops him and says, \u201cYou can\u2019t bring that dog in here unless you tell him it\u2019s your seeing-eye dog.\u201d<\/p>\n
The second man graciously thanks the first man for the information and continues to the bar and asks for a drink.<\/p>\n
Predictably, the bartender says \u201cHey, you can\u2019t bring dogs in here!\u201d<\/p>\n
The second man replies \u201cBut this is my seeing-eye dog.\u201d<\/p>\n
The bartender immediately replies, \u201cNo, I don\u2019t think so. They don\u2019t use Chihuahuas as seeing-eye dogs.\u201d<\/p>\n
The man pauses for a half-second and then replies \u201cWhat??! They gave me a Chihuahua??!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Pick your poison There\u2019s a guy sitting at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Soon, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. …