Little Willie Poems<\/span><\/h1>\nWillie in the best of sashes,
\nFell in the fire and burned to ashes.
\nBy and by the room grew chilly,
\nBecause no one wanted to poke up Willie. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\nWillie with a thirst for gore,
\nNailed the baby to the door.
\nMother said, with humor quaint:
\n“Careful, Will, don’t scratch the paint.” <\/span><\/span><\/p>\nLittle Willie on the tracks
\nDidn’t hear the engine squeal.
\nNow the engine’s coming back
\nScraping Willie off the wheel.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\nWillie poisoned Auntie’s tea.
\nAuntie died in agony.
\nUncle came and looked quite vexed.
\n“Really, Will,” said he, “What next?” <\/span><\/span><\/p>\nWillie, I regret to state,
\nCut his sister into bait.
\nWe miss her when it’s time to dine,
\nBut Willie’s fish taste simply fine. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\nWillie fell down the elevator,
\nWasn’t found till six days later.
\nThen the neighbors sniffed,
\n“Gee whiz! What a spoiled child Willie is.” <\/span><\/span><\/p>\nWillie bashed open baby’s head
\nTo see if brains are gray or red.
\nWhat a naughty boy is he
\nHe shall have no jam for tea. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\nLittle Willie from the mirror
\nLicked the mercury all off
\nThinking in his childish error
\nIt would cure his whooping cough.
\n<\/span><\/span>At the funeral, Willie’s mother
\nSmartly said to Mrs. Brown,
\n“Twas a chilly day for Willie
\nWhen the mercury went down!”<\/span><\/span><\/p>\nWillie in the cauldron fell;
\nSee the grief on mother’s brow.
\nMother loved her darling well;
\nWillie’s quite hard-boiled by now. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\nWillie and two other brats
\nLicked up all the Rough-on-Rats.
\nFather said, when mother cried,
\n“Never mind, they’ll die outside.”<\/span><\/span><\/p>\nInto the family drinking well
\nWillie pushed his sister Nell.
\nShe’s there yet, because it kilt her
\nNow we’ll have to buy a filter. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\nLittle Willie, mean as hell,
\nThrew his sister in the well.
\nSaid his mother when drawing water,
\n“Sure is hard to raise a daughter.”<\/span><\/span><\/p>\nLittle Willie hung his sister.
\nShe was dead before we missed her.
\n“Willie’s always up to tricks.
\nAin’t he cute! He’s only six.” <\/span><\/span><\/p>\nLittle Willie’s dead and gone.
\nHis face we’ll see no more.
\nFor what he thought was H2O
\nWas H2SO4. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\nWillie saw some dynamite,
\nCouldn’t understand it quite.
\nCuriosity never pays;
\nIt rained Willie seven days. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\nLittle Willie, with a curse
\nThrew the teapot at the nurse.
\nWhen it struck her on the nose,
\nHis father cheered, \u201cHow straight he throws!\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\nFather heard his children scream
\nSo he threw them in the stream
\nSaying, as he drowned the third,
\n\u201cChildren should be seen, not heard!\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Little Willie Poems Willie in the best of sashes, Fell in the fire and burned to ashes. By and by the room grew chilly, Because no one wanted to poke up Willie. Willie with a thirst for gore, Nailed the baby to the door. Mother said, with humor quaint: “Careful, … CLICK TO VIEW SONGLittle Willie JOKES<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17156","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bar-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17156","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17156"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17156\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17156"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17156"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17156"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}