{"id":15726,"date":"2023-05-06T19:20:23","date_gmt":"2023-05-06T19:20:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/?p=15726"},"modified":"2025-10-25T22:17:33","modified_gmt":"2025-10-25T22:17:33","slug":"bar-jokes-14","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/bar-jokes-14\/","title":{"rendered":"~~ Bar Jokes 14"},"content":{"rendered":"

RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.<\/span><\/li>\n
  2. Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.<\/span><\/li>\n
  3. Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?<\/span><\/li>\n
  4. You don’t need anger management. You need people to stop pissing you off.<\/span><\/li>\n
  5. Your people skills are just fine. It’s your tolerance for idiots that needs work.<\/span><\/li>\n
  6. “On time” is when you get there.<\/span><\/li>\n
  7. Even duct tape can’t fix stupid \u2013 but it sure does muffle the sound.<\/span><\/li>\n
  8. It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free…and three sizes smaller.<\/span><\/li>\n
  9. Lately you’ve noticed people your age are so much older than you.<\/span><\/li>\n
  10. “One for the road” means peeing before you leave the house.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees. Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet. Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me … CLICK TO VIEW SONG~~ Bar Jokes 14<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15726","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bar-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15726","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15726"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15726\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15726"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15726"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15726"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}