{"id":15722,"date":"2023-05-06T19:18:30","date_gmt":"2023-05-06T19:18:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/?p=15722"},"modified":"2025-10-25T22:17:49","modified_gmt":"2025-10-25T22:17:49","slug":"bar-jokes-12","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/bar-jokes-12\/","title":{"rendered":"~~ Bar Jokes 12"},"content":{"rendered":"

RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. We all get heavier as we get older, because there\u2019s a lot more information in our heads. That\u2019s my story and I\u2019m sticking to it.<\/span><\/li>\n
  2. I ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons and tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce and cheese. SOME people call it a pizza!<\/span><\/li>\n
  3. Why can\u2019t you trust an atom?
    \nBecause they make up everything.<\/strong><\/span><\/li>\n
  4. Q:\u00a0 What does a hamster have in common with a cigarette?
    \nA:\u00a0 They\u2019re harmless, unless you stick \u2019em in your mouth and light them on fire.<\/strong><\/span><\/li>\n
  5. Q:\u00a0 What do you call a fish with no eyes?
    \nA:\u00a0 A fsh<\/strong><\/span><\/li>\n
  6. There\u2019s two whales in a bar, one says *<\/strong>whale sounds<\/em>*
    \nThe other says \u201cYou need to go home you\u2019re drunk.\u201d<\/strong><\/span><\/li>\n
  7. Q:\u00a0 What do you call a dead polar bear?
    \nA:\u00a0 Whatever you want, he can\u2019t hear you<\/strong><\/span><\/li>\n
  8. T<\/span>h<\/span>e ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless and ageless.<\/span><\/li>\n
  9. Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road is paved with flat squirrels who couldn\u2019t make a decision.<\/span><\/li>\n
  10. Happiness is not having to set the alarm clock.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE<\/a><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE We all get heavier as we get older, because there\u2019s a lot more information in our heads. That\u2019s my story and I\u2019m sticking to it. I ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons and tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce … CLICK TO VIEW SONG~~ Bar Jokes 12<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15722","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bar-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15722","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15722"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15722\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15722"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15722"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15722"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}