{"id":15695,"date":"2023-05-06T15:37:35","date_gmt":"2023-05-06T15:37:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/?p=15695"},"modified":"2025-10-25T22:18:14","modified_gmt":"2025-10-25T22:18:14","slug":"bar-jokes-9","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/bar-jokes-9\/","title":{"rendered":"~~ Bar Jokes 09"},"content":{"rendered":"

RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, \u201cI\u2019ll have five beers, please.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n
  2. Some helium floats into a bar. The bartender says, \u201cSorry, but we don\u2019t serve noble gases here.\u201d<\/span>
    \nDespite the bartender\u2019s rudeness, the helium doesn\u2019t react.<\/span><\/li>\n
  3. A golf club walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a beer. The bartender refused to serve him. \u201cWhy not,\u201d asked the golf club. \u201cBecause you\u2019ll be driving later,\u201d replied the bartender.<\/span><\/li>\n
  4. Two antennae met in a bar, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn\u2019t much, but the reception was excellent.<\/span><\/li>\n
  5. A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for books about paranoia. She whispers, \u201cThey\u2019re right behind you!\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n
  6. A cement mixer and a prison bus crashed on the highway. Police advise citizens to look out for a group of hardened criminals.<\/span><\/li>\n
  7. My wife called me and asked, \u201cDo you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone\u2019s got a voodoo doll of you and they\u2019re stabbing it?\u201dI was a little concerned as I answered, \u201cNo.\u201dShe said, \u201cHow about now?\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n
  8. A boy asks his Dad one day, \u201cDad, what\u2019s the difference between confident and confidential?\u201dHis Dad replies, \u201cWell, you\u2019re my son \u2013 I\u2019m confident about that. And your best friend Jimmy is also my son \u2013 that\u2019s confidential.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n
  9. I told my boss three companies were after me and I needed a raise to stay at my job. We haggled for a few minutes and he gave me a 5% raise.Leaving his office, he stopped and asked me, \u201cBy the way, which companies are after you?\u201d I responded, \u201cThe gas, electric, and cable company.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n
  10. I don\u2019t have a joke, instead, I\u2019m going to tell you my favorite animal fact. Did you know that ants are the only animals that don\u2019t get sick? It\u2019s true! It\u2019s because they have little antibodies.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, \u201cI\u2019ll have five beers, please.\u201d Some helium floats into a bar. The bartender says, \u201cSorry, but we don\u2019t serve noble gases here.\u201d Despite the bartender\u2019s rudeness, the helium doesn\u2019t react. A golf … CLICK TO VIEW SONG~~ Bar Jokes 09<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15695","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bar-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15695","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15695"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15695\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15695"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15695"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15695"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}