{"id":15684,"date":"2023-05-06T15:29:50","date_gmt":"2023-05-06T15:29:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/?p=15684"},"modified":"2025-10-25T22:18:49","modified_gmt":"2025-10-25T22:18:49","slug":"bar-jokes-4","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/bar-jokes-4\/","title":{"rendered":"~~ Bar Jokes 04"},"content":{"rendered":"

RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. The village blacksmith finally found an apprentice willing to work hard for long hours. The blacksmith instructed the boy, \u201cWhen I take the shoe out of the fire, I\u2019ll lay it on the anvil; and when I nod my head, you hit it with this hammer.\u201dThe apprentice did just as he was told. Now he\u2019s the village blacksmith.<\/span><\/li>\n
  2. Doctor: \u201cI\u2019m sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live.\u201d<\/span>
    \nPatient: \u201cWhat do you mean, 10? Ten what? Months? Weeks?!\u201d<\/span>
    \nDoctor: \u201cNine. Eight. Seven . . . \u201d<\/span><\/li>\n
  3. Two men were driving home one night when one asked the other to check if the car\u2019s indicators are working.He promptly sticks his head out the window and says: \u201cYes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n
  4. A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. \u201cWhat are you drinking?\u201d he asks the guy.\u201cMagic beer,\u201d he says.\u201cOh, yeah? What\u2019s so magical about it?\u201dThen he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, flies around the building, then finally returns to his seat with a triumphant smile.<\/span>
    \n\u201cAmazing!\u201d the man says. \u201cLemme try some of that!\u201d The man grabs the beer. He downs it, leaps off the roof\u2014and plummets 15 stories to the ground.<\/span>
    \nThe bartender shakes his head. \u201cYou know, you\u2019re a real jerk when you\u2019re drunk, Superman.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n
  5. A mother asks her young sons what they want for breakfast. The first little boy says, \u201cI\u2019ll have some of your damned pancakes.\u201dThe mother angrily sends him to his room for cursing. She glares at the other little boy and asks, \u201cWhat do you want for breakfast?!\u201dThe second boy says, \u201cWell, I sure don\u2019t want your damned pancakes!\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n
  6. \u201cI was playing chess with my friend and he said, \u2018Let\u2019s make this interesting.\u2019 So we stopped playing chess.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n
  7. Fifty one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted into the U.S. Army.On the first day of basic training, he was issued a comb. That same day, a barber cut off all of his hair.The next day, he was issued a tooth brush. Shortly afterward, a dentist pulled 7 of his teeth.Then, on the third day, he was issued a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.<\/span><\/li>\n
  8. Two guys are out drinking when one of them falls off his bar stool and lies motionless on the floor.<\/span>
    \n\u201cOne thing about Fred,\u201d his buddy says to the bartender. \u201cHe knows when to stop.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n
  9. A tennis ball walks into a bar.<\/span>
    \nThe barman says, \u201cHave you been served?\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n
  10. A cornstalk walks into a bar.<\/span>
    \nThe bartender says, \u201cWant to hear a joke?\u201d<\/span>
    \nThe corn stalk replies, \u201cI\u2019m all ears!\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE The village blacksmith finally found an apprentice willing to work hard for long hours. The blacksmith instructed the boy, \u201cWhen I take the shoe out of the fire, I\u2019ll lay it on the anvil; and when I nod my head, you hit it with … CLICK TO VIEW SONG~~ Bar Jokes 04<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15684","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bar-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15684","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15684"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15684\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15684"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15684"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15684"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}