{"id":15680,"date":"2023-05-06T15:26:59","date_gmt":"2023-05-06T15:26:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/?p=15680"},"modified":"2025-10-25T22:19:04","modified_gmt":"2025-10-25T22:19:04","slug":"bar-jokes-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/bar-jokes-2\/","title":{"rendered":"~~ Bar Jokes 02"},"content":{"rendered":"

RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. So Jerry Eddy came into Cahoots last night, and sat down, and ordered a beer. As he sipped the beer, he heard a soothing voice say \u201cnice shirt!\u201d Looking around, he noticed that the bar was empty except for himself and Jesse, the bartender. A few sips later the voice said \u201cthat\u2019s a great haircut too\u201c.<\/span>
    \nAt this, the Jerry called Jesse over and said \u201cHey\u2026I must be losing my mind. I keep hearing these voices saying nice things, and there\u2019s not a soul in here but us.\u201d<\/span>
    \n\u201cIt\u2019s the peanuts,\u201d Jesse told him . . . they\u2019re complimentary.\u201c<\/span><\/li>\n
  2. A visitor staggered out of Cahoots, after starting to drink early in the afternoon, and ran into Pastor Peggy. He went up to her and said, I\u2019m Jesus Christ.<\/em><\/span> Peggy replied. No, son, you are not Jesus Christ.<\/em><\/span> So the drunk said again Look, I really am Jesus Christ.<\/em>\u00a0<\/span> Peggy replied. Trust me, you are not Jesus Christ.<\/em><\/span><\/span>
    \nThe drunk said, Look, I can prove it.<\/span><\/em> and walks back into the bar with the pastor. Jesse took one look at and exclaims, Jesus Christ, are you in here again?<\/em><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n
  3. A grasshopper walks into a bar and Marilyn said, \u2018Hey, we have a drink named after you!\u2019<\/span>
    \nThe grasshopper looks surprised and says, \u2018You have a drink named Steve?\u2019<\/span><\/li>\n
  4. A visitor walks into a bar with an alligator. \u201cDo you serve lawyers in here?\u201d the man inquires.<\/span>
    \n\u201cSure do!\u201d replied Jesse.<\/span>
    \n\u201cGreat!\u201d the man said. \u201cI\u2019ll have a Coors Light, and how \u2019bout a lawyer for my \u2018gator.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n
  5. Courier, Helvetica, and Times New Roman walk into a bar.<\/span>
    \n\u201cGet out!\u201d shouts Jesse. \u201cWe don\u2019t serve your type here<\/span><\/li>\n
  6. A neutron walks into a bar.<\/span>
    \n\u201cHow much for a beer?\u201d the neutron asks.<\/span>
    \nJesse replied \u201cFor you? No charge.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n
  7. Jesse said, \u201cWe don\u2019t serve time travelers in here.\u201d<\/span>
    \nA time traveler walks into a bar.<\/span><\/li>\n
  8. A Frenchman walks into a bar with a cat on his shoulder.<\/span>
    \nThe cat is wearing a little baseball cap. \u201cHey, that\u2019s neat,\u201d said Sandy. \u201cWhere did you get that?\u201d<\/span>
    \n\u201cIn France,\u201d the kitty says, \u201cthey\u2019ve got millions of them!\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n
  9. George ran into the bar. Panting, he tells Jesse, \u201cGive me ten shots of your best whiskey\u2014quick!\u201d<\/span>
    \nSo Jesse sets them up and George knocks them all back in seconds.<\/span>
    \n\u201cWhy are you drinking so fast?\u201d asks Jesse.<\/span>
    \nYou\u2019d drink fast too if you had what I have,\u201d George replied.<\/span>
    \n\u201cWhy, what do you have?\u201d asks Jesse.<\/span>
    \n\u201cOnly twelve cents.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n
  10. A visitor to Cahoots in labor suddenly shouted, \u201cShouldn\u2019t! Wouldn\u2019t! Couldn\u2019t! Didn\u2019t! Can\u2019t!\u201d<\/span>
    \n\u201cThat\u2019s OK,\u201d said Judy, \u201cThose are just contractions.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    RETURN TO BAR JOKE MAIN PAGE So Jerry Eddy came into Cahoots last night, and sat down, and ordered a beer. As he sipped the beer, he heard a soothing voice say \u201cnice shirt!\u201d Looking around, he noticed that the bar was empty except for himself and Jesse, the bartender. … CLICK TO VIEW SONG~~ Bar Jokes 02<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15680","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bar-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15680","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15680"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15680\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15680"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15680"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertandrews.net\/songs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15680"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}