I’m Gonna Hire a Wino to Decorate our Home – [ LISTEN TO FIRST PART ]

[C] I came crawling home last night, like [F] many nights before: [C] I finally made it to my feet as she [F] opened up the [C] door. And she said, [F] “You’re not gonna [G] do this any [C] more.”

{ CHORUS }
She said: “I’m [C] gonna’ hire a wino to [F] decorate our home, So [F] you’ll feel more at [C] ease here, and you won’t have to [G] roam. We’ll take [C] out the dining room table, and put a [F] bar along that wall, and a [C] neon sign, to point the way, to our [G] bathroom down the [C] hall.”

She said: “Just [C] bring your Friday paycheck, and I’ll [F] cash them all right here. And I’ll keep on tap – for [C] all your friends, their favorite kinds of [G] beer. And for [C] you, I’ll always keep in stock, those [F] soft aluminum cans. And when you’re feeling [C] macho, you can [G] crush them like a [C] man.”

She said: “We’ll [C] rip out all the carpet, and put [F] sawdust on the floor. Serve boiled eggs and [C] pretzels, and I won’t cook no [G] more.
There’ll be [C] Monday night football on TV [F] above the bar. And a pay phone in the [C] hallway, when your [G] friends can’t find their [C] car.”

[modulate]   { CHORUS }
She said: “I’m [D] gonna’ hire a wino to [G] decorate our home, So [G] you’ll feel more at [D] ease here, and you won’t have to [A] roam. We’ll take [D] out the dining room table, and put a [G] bar along that wall, and a [D] neon sign, to point the way, to our [A] bathroom down the [D] hall.”

She said:[D]  “You’ll get friendly service, and for [G] added atmosphere. I’ll [G] slip on something [D] sexy, and I’ll cut it clear to [A] here. Then you can [D] slap my bottom, every [G] time you tell a joke. Just as long as you keep [D] tipping, well, I’ll [A] laugh until you’re [D] broke.”

She said: [D]  “Instead of family quarrels, we’ll [G] have a bar-room brawl, When the [G] Ham’s bear say’s its [D] closing time, you won’t have far to [A] crawl. And when [D] you run out of money, [G] you’ll have me to thank. You can sleep it off next [D] morning, when I’m [A] putting it in the [D] bank.”  

[modulate]   { CHORUS }
She said: “I’m [E] gonna’ hire a wino to [A] decorate our home, So [A] you’ll feel more at [E] ease here, and you won’t have to [B] roam. We’ll take [E] out the dining room table, and put a [A] bar along that wall, and a [E] neon sign, to point the way, to our [B] bathroom down the [E] hall.”