Breathalized

Seamus Kennedy

To the tune of Yesterday

Breathalyzed…Crystals turning green before my eyes;
I turned yellow when I realized
That I have just been breathalyzed.

Suddenly…there’s a policeman looking down at me
I’d like to punch him but he’s six foot three
And I would like to stay alive.

I did something wrong and I know it was a beaut;

When he pulled me in and I parked upon his foot, so gently…

I got sick….when he brought me down the local nick,
I’ve never seen a sergeant move so quick
But not as quick as I got sick

They said, “We want your blood to test for alcohol.”
“Go away,” I said, “you’ll get nothing. Dracula…”

Paralyzed…500 milligrams per hundred mil.,
Now they reckon I’m a mobile still
And I will soon be penalized.

Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away.
Now the judge says ; must join A.A.
And take the bus for sixty days.