~~ Bar Jokes 06

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1. I have always been a disappointment. When I was five years old, I looked down at the crayons I was colouring with and sighed: When I was two, this was not what I saw myself doing at five.
2. I called the doctor’s office yesterday, and the recording said “If you understand English, press 1. If you do not understand English, press 2.”
3. Cynthia was in the emergency room when a young male nurse came in to ask routine medical questions.Nurse: Have you ever had a hysterectomy?
   Cynthia: Yes.
   Nurse: When?
   Cynthia: 2011.
   Nurse: Do you think you could be pregnant?
   Cynthia: Do you think this is the right career for you?
4. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?
   They taste funny.
5. What’s orange and sounds like a carrot?
   A parrot.
6. Last night, Jasmmine ate our entire Scrabble set
   This morning, she keeps leaving little messages around the house.
7. What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings?
   Any dog, because buildings can’t jump.
8. How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
   Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
9. Why did it get so hot in the baseball stadium after the game?
   All of the fans left.
10. Where do you find a cow with no legs?
    Right where you left it.

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