~~ Bar Jokes 20 – RD

Keyed up

On a visit to my doctor, I was pleasantly surprised to find that he had installed taped music in the waiting room. As I sat there enjoying a piano recording, I overheard an elderly lady say to her companion, “Just like these young doctors—a crowded waiting room, and he’s in there playing the piano!” —June Iveson
RD Issue: November 1972

Tusk, tusk

“I wish I had enough money to buy an elephant.”
“What on earth do you need an elephant for?”
“I don’t. I just need the money.”
—Sam Levenson
RD Issue: January 1951

Birthday boy

I was administering an achievement test to David, a precocious six-year-old, and I began by asking him when his birthday was.
“February 20,” was his quick response.
Next I asked him, “What year, David?”
He looked at me quizzically at first and then hit upon the obvious answer. “Every year,” he said.
—Jerry Mintz
RD Issue: January 1979

Caught in the web

I was visiting my son the other night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper.
“Dad, this is the 21st century,” he said. “I don’t waste my money on newspapers. But if you like, you can borrow my iPad.”
I can tell you this: That spider never knew what hit him.
—Adam Joshua Smargon
RD Issue: December 2012

Holy deduction

“Hello, Reverend Smith? This is the Internal Revenue Service. Is Samuel Jones a member of your congregation?”
“He is.”
“Did he donate $10,000 to the church?”
“He will.”
—Hugh Neeld
RD Issue: October 2008