BARITONE ## - -
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25 RANDOM SONGS - -
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TENOR UKE ## - -
PIANO - -
- A man walks into a bar and says, βGive me a beer before the problems start!β He drinks the beer and then orders another saying, βGive me a beer before the problems start!βThe bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man, βWhen are you going to pay for these beers?βThe man answers, βNow the problems start!β
- Whatβs the difference between a hippo and a zippo? Oneβs pretty heavy and the otherβs a little lighter
- Mick says to Paddy: βClose your curtains the next time youβre shagging your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday.βPaddy says: βWell the jokeβs on them stupid bastards, because I wasnβt even home yesterday.β
- Mick goes to the vet with his goldfish. βI think itβs got epilepsyβ, he tells the vet.
Vet takes a look and says, βIt seems calm enough to meβ.
Mick says, βWell wait now, I havenβt taken it out of the bowl yetβ. - A man phoned the maternity ward at the hospital. βQuick!β he said. βSend an ambulance, my wife is goinβ to have a baby!β
βTell me, is this her first baby?β the intern asked.
βNo, this is her husband, Kevin, speakinβ.β - Reilly went to trial for armed robbery. The jury foreman came out and announced,βNot guilty.β
βThatβs grand!β shouted Reilly. βDoes that mean I can keep the money? - A tourist asks an Irishman: βWhy do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?βTo which the Irishman replies: βWell if they fell forwards, theyβd still be in the bloody boat.β
- Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink.Quinn thinks heβs very lucky because his own wife makes him walk.
Mrs. Feeney shouted from the kitchen, βIs that you I hear spittinβ in the vase on the mantle piece?ββNo,β said himself, βbut Iβm gettinβ closer all the time.β - Finnegin: My wife has a terrible habit of staying up βtil two oβclock in the morning I canβt break her out of it.Keenan: What on earth is she doinβ at that time?
Finnegin: Waitinβ for me to come home.